Never Mess With Martha
by Higuchimon
Summary: [one-shot, Martha & OC genfic] The house was inhabited only by an old woman and some kids. The perfect place to hide from Security. Really.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing involved in this story unless I invented it myself. This is written for fun, not for profit.  
><strong>Fandom:<strong> Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds  
><strong>Title:<strong> Never Mess With Martha  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Martha, OC  
><strong>Word Count:<strong> 4,686||**Status:** Complete  
><strong>Genre:<strong> Humor, Family||**Rated:** PG-13  
><strong>Feedback:<strong> All forms eagerly accepted. Concrit is loved the most, but everything is welcome.  
><strong>Summary:<strong> The house was inhabited only by an old woman and some kids. The perfect place to hide from Security. Really.

* * *

><p>This had just not been his day. He was sure that nothing that happened could be worse than what already had. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, trying to put all of it together in his head.<p>

"So, what are _you_in for?" The voice came from just ahead of him and he wasn't surprised to see it came from a burly man in prison clothes, just like the ones he wore.

"Couple of counts of theft. Among other things." They still hadn't worked out what to charge him with for that last deal. "I think they want to try adding 'endangering children' to it too."

The stranger looked him up and down. "You don't look like you could do a lot of threatening."

"You'd be surprised." He took a deep breath, everything that had happened that day flickering through his mind. He might as well tell someone, after all. "It all started after I robbed a store in Satellite."

* * *

><p>Chip leaned against the wall, chest rising and falling with each breath. His fingers tightened around the bag he held as sirens wailed in the distance. <em>They're coming.<em>He swallowed; his mouth was dry. He never drank anything for at least an hour before pulling a job. Better to be thirsty than to need to go right in the middle of work.

But work was over, for the most part. He still had to get back to his place, but that would be the easy part. Security wasn't that impressive, in his opinion. His deck warmed the inside of his jacket. If he really needed to, he could challenge whoever got close enough to him to a duel. It wouldn't be the first time he'd gotten away like that.

That didn't stop him from dropping down and hiding behind a trash can a moment later when a Security officer rode by. His heart pounded as he shoved the bag into his jacket. _I need to hide out somewhere._ He was certain he could win any duel against Security he had to, but he didn't want to _have_a duel if he didn't have to. The last one he'd won only by a fluke of cards at the last second and he didn't want to take another chance so soon.

Chip pulled his jacket over his head as another motorcycle came by, this one shining a light into the alleyway. He closed his eyes and pretended to be a part of the trash there. Satellite was 'cleaned up', or so everyone said, but there were still places with trash and this alleyway was one of them.

"See anyone?" The voice wasn't one he recognized, but he wasn't exactly best friends with anyone in Security anyway. Another voice replied, this one closer to him.

"No one in here. Come on, he's probably still running. No one's going to stay around here anyway."

"Right." There was a definite hint of amusement in the first officer's tone. Chip rolled his eyes but couldn't stop himself from grinning. _Idiots._ He hadn't been in this area too long, but he couldn't imagine why anyone _wouldn't_stay here after a job. There were a lot of houses to hide in, along with plenty of alleys, a few parks, and more stores to rob than he could count.

The two officers moved along. Chip didn't come out, not even after he heard their cycles riding down the street. _Yeah, I know this trick, guys. You leave and expect me to come out and get caught by your buddies._ No, Chip was a little too good for that. His luck in dueling wasn't always the best, but he could _think_.

He was far enough back from the opening that he could get up, as long as he didn't move too much closer. He squirmed to his feet, moving quietly, and started to climb, fitting his feet into small niches in the wall. _So much for 'fixed'._The walls still had enough gaps in them for him to climb in some places and this was one of them.

Getting to the top gave him a good view of the area. If there were any more officers in the area, it was all but impossible to see them. Chip folded his arms over his chest and cast about for a better hiding place. He could still hear the sirens; they would be back sooner or later.

_House. House._He needed a good house, preferably one with someone he could use as a hostage if he had to. Going into an empty house wouldn't be worth the effort, since he'd have to turn on lights and probably get more attention than he wanted.

Wait. He knew the perfect place. _Just three streets over and no one's going to mess with me while I'm there._It was practically a robber's paradise, a place with only an old woman and some kids living there. She probably baked cookies for everyone and knew the officers by their first names and none of them would touch him while he was there.

Chip made certain his bag of loot wasn't going anywhere, then scrambled down the far side of the building. Once he was on the ground, he headed through the streets, still keeping an eye out for any officers and an ear tilted for sirens or motorcycle engines getting closer.

Someone must have been looking out for him, however, since he crossed those three streets with only a minimum of interference, mostly involving other people being on the roads as well. There weren't as many as there could've been, he decided, given that he'd hit his target in the early afternoon. It would've been worse during rush hour. _Much_worse.

Sirens, just as he came to the turning that would lead him down to that house. He hunched over, waiting on the street corner like all of the other drones around him. _Best cover I can find right now._They wouldn't expect to see a robber waiting with everyone else to cross the street. He held back his smirk. Yeah, this was going to be easy.

Two Security cycles drove by; Chip remained where he was, waiting for the light to change, then trudged across to the other side. The officers paid him no more attention than they would anyone else walking the streets.

The house stood just a short distance away now. He could hear the sound of children's laughter the closer that he drew to it. He picked up his pace; the sooner he was off the streets the better. The cops might not expect to see him wandering, but they had to have a picture of him from the security cameras. Better not to give them a chance to check out a lone straggler.

He swung into the yard, head held high, one hand buried in the pocket of his jacket, ready to pull his gun. There were several kids out there, playing all those little games that kids played. Two of them were even dueling on one of those old-fashioned mats. The minute he stepped inside, all of them looked up at him, with one of the small duelists standing up at once.

"Who are you?" The kid had blue-green hair and large brown eyes, which he probably intended to cut deeply into Chip's soul. Chip had better things to do with his time than be stared at by a brat not even a third his age.

"Get inside, kids." He didn't give them any other choices, just stared them down with all the weight of being an adult. All of them looked at each other, and he took another step, looming over one of the smaller girls. "You heard me. Inside."

Slowly the group shuffled inside, with the brown-eyed kid being the last one to move. Chip didn't like the way the brat kept staring at him either. _He's going to be trouble._Well, he knew how to deal with troublemaking kids. After all, he'd been one once himself.

He stepped inside after the last of them, closing and locking the door behind himself. Then he turned to face the kids and the old woman who stood there, ladle in one hand, the other arm around the little girl he'd threatened outside.

"What do you think you're doing?" The woman asked, raising the ladle as if she expected him to be afraid of it. Maybe these _kids_were, but Chip knew better. He offered a smirk toward her, but she didn't so much as blink an eye. "Answer me, young man."

Something in her tone sent the faintest of chills down his spine. He hadn't heard his mother's voice in thirty years and even then, she hadn't sounded like _that_. "I'm staying here until the cops quit looking for me," he told her. "It shouldn't be more than a few hours. Then you'll never see me again."

He could all but see the thoughts swirling in her mind. Old women like this wanted to protect their kids. She probably also wanted to smack him across the knuckles with her ladle. Not that he'd let her do that.

She folded her arms over her chest, the ladle still held in one hand. "If you stay here, then you're going to help out with the chores. There's quite a bit of work to be done and everyone here has to earn their keep."

Chip wondered when he'd walked into a bad movie. "Look, lady, I'm not going to-"

Her ladle struck him hard across the knuckles, faster than he'd imagined anyone her age could move. "Be quiet. You stay here and help or leave."

He wanted to tell her that there was a third option, backed up by his gun. The moment he began to open his mouth, she raised the ladle once again. "Young man, I've raised children in Satellite since two months after Zero Reverse. You will do your chores." Nothing that even vaguely resembled compromise touched her voice.

Chip rubbed his hand, glaring at her. _Fine. If she wants to play it like this._ "What is it you want me to do?" She thought she was tough? He could out-tough her any day of the week. So she'd raised kids here. It wasn't as if that was _so_hard.

A moment later, a broom was in his hands. "Sweep the living room," she ordered with an abrupt wave of her hands. "And I don't want to see a single speck of dust in there when I check on you."

He took a step away before he stopped and turned back to her. He pointed at the large-eyed kid. "He's coming with me. I don't want any of you getting any ideas about calling Security while I'm in there. If you do, he pays for it."

She started to say something, probably in protest, when he pulled his gun out of his pocket. He didn't point it at anyone, not yet, just held it up to the ceiling. "I'll do your little chores, but I'm going to have _my_insurance while I'm doing it."

"It's okay, Martha." The kid smiled as he bounced up to his feet. "Don't worry about it. I'll make sure he doesn't do anything."

Chip laughed; what kind of junk was this woman feeding these kids? It had to be good, for this one to think _he_ would be able to stop _Chip_from doing anything he wanted to do!

She nodded, however, taking what he said seriously from the expression on her face. "Just be careful, Takuya."

"I will be!" He marched to the living room, stopping at the door to look back at Chip. "Well, come on!"

The robber rolled his eyes; this was why he'd never wanted kids. He headed after the kid, putting the gun back in his pocket as he did. He wasn't going to let it get away from him. If he was right about this little brat, Takuya would probably try to hold _him_ up with it. _Heh. The day I can't take some ten year old is the day I surrender to Security._

He looked around the living room; he'd never put that much effort into cleaning his own apartment, really. He wasn't even sure if he _owned_a broom.

"You do know how to use that, right?" Takuya sat on a bench, his legs swinging, and stared at him. "I can use it." He pulled his deck out of the holder on his hip and started to go over the cards, as if the fact he were trapped in his own home with an armed robber was the very last thing on his mind.

"Of course I do!" Chip glared at the boy and the broom, then started to move it over the floor. Sweeping wasn't that hard, he decided after a few moments. He pointedly ignored Takuya and the quiet snickering under the boy's breath. Instead, he swept over and over, working his way throughout the whole room. "There, done!"

Takuya shook his head, an angelic smile flickering across his lips. "No, you're not. Martha wants you to move the furniture and sweep under that too."

"She wants what?" Chip stared at him. "Why do you think she wants that?"

"Because that's what she does when she sweeps and that's what _Jack_does when he sweeps." Takuya told him in a matter of fact tone. "You can do it, can't you?"

Chip's eyes narrowed. "Who's Jack?" He'd cased this place a couple of times and there hadn't been any adults around here except for Martha.

"Jack _Atlas_! He doesn't come by too much but when he does, he helps with the chores. And he sweeps under the furniture." Takuya told him. Chip shook his head. The kid had to be delusional. Or he'd watched too many televised duels. Or both.

Still, better to get it done now than have to go over it again. It took another thirty minutes to get the furniture moved and everything swept out from under it. _How can people **do** this all the time?_Cleaning could not be that important, much less worth all the trouble.

"Very good." He whirled to see Martha in the door, ladle still in hand. He wondered if she'd registered that as a lethal weapon. It should be, if it wasn't. She nudged a bucket toward him, one with a scrub brush and a few bottles inside. "Go clean the bathroom and make sure you get _everything_up."

Chip drew in a breath. Cleaning a bathroom. "You're not serious."

"If you plan on staying here, then, yes, I am." Martha countered. "Did you think that you'd just sit down and do nothing while you were hiding out here?"

Since that was exactly what he'd thought in the first place, Chip decided not to say anything just yet. _No more after this._He snatched up the bucket and waved to Takuya to show him the way. The kid was delusional but he was still useful to have as a hostage. "So, do you really know how to use that?" He jerked one thumb toward Takuya's deck as he got to work. The bathroom was bigger than he'd thought it would be, enabling the kid to sit on the toilet and watch him while he tackled the sink.

"Of course I do!" Takuya pulled the deck closer to him and stared at him, affronted. "What kind of a duelist doesn't know how to duel?"

Chip had to stop himself from choking on his own laughter. "You're a duelist?"

"Sure am!" Takuya's broad grin glinted in the overhead light. "I've had lessons from the _best_! I bet I could beat _you_!"

"Then when I'm done, we'll duel." It would give him an excuse not to clean anymore, if nothing else. Even an insane woman who liked to make armed intruders scrub her bathroom wouldn't interrupt a duel.

Takuya squirmed, eyes bright with delight. "You got it! I hope you're ready to lose!"

"Sure, kid, sure." Chip scrubbed harder at the floor. The sooner he was done, the sooner that he could teach this kid what it meant to challenge a real duelist. _I wonder what he has in that deck of his. Dancing Fairy or Ojamas or something like that, I bet._A kid would have a kid's deck, after all, and he knew he'd thought Ojamas were awesome once upon a time. What little boy didn't like something gross?

Chip didn't bother checking the time so he didn't know how long it took him to clean everything. His stomach rumbled as he put the last of the items where they belonged and he made up his mind on another angle.

"I want some dinner," he declared as he stepped into the living room. Martha had the other kids gathered round and he guessed she was telling them some kind of a story that his arrival cut off.

His request was echoed a moment later by all the kids as they gathered closer around her. She smiled down at them before she looked back up at him. "I don't have enough food to make something for everyone right now. I haven't had the chance to go to the store. I was _planning_on doing that this afternoon." She bent a stern gaze on him and Chip refused to feel guilty. "But I can order something."

His hand closed about his gun for a moment; if she were trying something, he would make her pay for it. "Fine. But I'm listening when you make the call. You know what'll happen if you screw anything up." He jerked his head toward Takuya, who stood with that same smile he'd had all the time.

"As you wish." Martha picked up a phone from a nearby table and waited for him to stand behind her while she called. It was one of the old-fashioned ones without video capability, which suited him just fine. The last thing he needed was some eager news-watching delivery boy seeing him in the background and calling the cops.

"Blackbird Delivery Service, how can I help you?" The voice on the other end spoke in a great rush, with strong hints of exhaustion as well.

"Hello, Crow." Martha's lips curved up into a smile. "I need you to bring us some food. We're out, and I've had some unexpected company."

Chip's eyes narrowed at that. He pulled Takuya closer to him, but didn't bring the gun out just yet. The words were still innocent, after all.

"What do you need?" Crow didn't sound quite as exhausted anymore, if Chip was any judge. "The usual?"

"That's right. Throw in two extra pizzas while you're at it. The children have been very good today." Martha didn't even appear to be tense, and Chip relaxed. No one could pass along hidden messages in an order like that. "Plenty of sausage and pepperoni."

"You got it. Give it an hour and you'll have everything. This one's on me."

"I'll see you then." Martha cut the connection and put the phone down before she looked up at Chip. "Satisfied?" He hated that tone of challenge in her voice. He shot a look toward Takuya, who only waved his pint-sized duel disk at him. Chip wondered where he'd hidden that, since he hadn't used it when he'd dueled before. _This is Satellite. They've probably only got one disk for all of them._

"Duel now?"

Oh. Right. Yeah. "Sure." He pulled his own deck out of his jacket and pulled his sleeve back to unfold his duel disk. "Anyone object to us doing this inside?"

Martha folded her arms across her chest and stared at him in a way he was coming to recognize and not like at all. "Yes. Duels happen _outside_. I can cancel that order if you don't like it."

Oh, _God_. Chip shook his head; why on Earth had he picked _this_house? Maybe finding an empty one wouldn't have been such a risk after all. Too late now.

Everyone filed outside, with Takuya standing on one end of the yard and Chip on the other. "You can take the first turn!" Takuya declared, eyes bright with excitement.

"Thanks." Chip didn't roll his eyes, but that was because he was too busy drawing his cards. He wondered what kind of a strategy the kid thought he had. This might be a little amusing, if only for the variety of it.

He summoned one of his better monsters, setting a facedown card a moment later. It didn't look like much, but it would do to lure the kid into his trap. "Turn end."

Takuya drew his card and summoned a monster that sent a faint chill down Chip's spine, if only for the last time he'd seen a monster like that. "Where did you get Assault Gundog from?" The only people he'd ever seen dueling with that monster were…

"Officer Ushio!" Takuya told him. "He gave me one of his old decks a while ago. It's really cool!"

_This kid…I…he's got a **Security deck**?_ This couldn't be happening. No way. The one kid on the island who had something like that, however he'd really gotten it, and Chip had to pick _him_ to duel. _Hold on. I beat the last Security guy who dueled me with one of these and he wasn't some snot-nosed kid. I can do this._

Inch by inch each of them pushed the other, and Chip wondered as they drew closer to the end just who really had taught the kid how to duel. _He's good. Better than I thought._Not as good as he was, though. Chip still knew he could win this duel.

He could hear the other kids and Martha murmuring behind him as the duel progressed, along with cheers for Takuya. None of them were cheering _him_ on, though. _Like I would've expected that._Still, he didn't give up. He didn't need cheers.

"All right, Takuya!" One of the girls pumped her fist into the air. "Finish him off!"

It wasn't even Takuya's turn. Chip rolled his eyes and struck with his most powerful monster, determined to burst through the brat's defenses and finish this once and for all.

It might have even worked, if it hadn't been for the card Takuya had facedown on the field. Chip groaned; he'd seen it before, but since the boy hadn't activated it on the previous turn, he'd dismissed it. "Battle Fusion! My monster gains the same attack strength as yours!"

And given his monster's already impressive strength, that was more than enough to finish _his_ life points off completely. He fell backward, crying out as the pain of loss shot through him. _I lost…to a kid? No way…_

"You did it, Takuya! You really did it!" Chip looked up to see everyone crowding around the kid, patting him on the back and sporting wild grins. "You're the best!"

"Good work, Takuya!" Chip had _not_thought to hear a voice like that at all, not a strong, adult, male voice. One hand fell to his jacket and the gun inside the pocket, only to have a firm hand land on his shoulder, tightening to the point he bit off a cry of pain.

"I don't think so." He yanked his head around to see a craggy, scarred Security officer looking back at him. "You're under arrest." He started to read off the charges, but Chip didn't listen to any of them, just kept trying to squirm away from the officer's unyielding hand. This just couldn't have happened. How'd they even known he was there in the first place?

As he tried to get away, a shock of red hair caught his attention and he jerked up enough to see the owner of said hair standing next to Martha, a helmet under his hand. "Everyone all right?" The hair didn't shock Chip as he got a better look at the stranger. Nor was it how friendly he was with the insane woman.

What did shock him was the fact despite multiple Security markers emblazoned across his face, this redhead was perfectly at ease with a Security officer making an arrest _right there_. "Hey!" He took a wrenched step away, though the officer kept a good grip on him. "How can you let him do this?"

The other looked back at him. "You expect anyone to give _you_ any mercy when you threatened Martha and _the kids_? You're lucky we're letting Ushio arrest you. We _could_let Jack have you." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder to where two more D-Wheels had just pulled up. Chip glanced that way for a moment…then another.

And another.

And only one thought made its way through his stunned mind.

_The kid was right. Jack Atlas really does come here._For that matter, so did Fudo Yuusei.

"Did you like my duel?" Takuya tugged on Ushio's jacket and Chip wondered if it were worth it to try to grab him. "I'm getting really good, aren't I?"

Then again, from the way they were staring at him, that would probably end in painful death and at least a prison term would end. Death was somewhat more permanent.

"Not bad at all." The big security officer nodded, a pleased smile on his face. "Could do better, though."

Takuya's grin widened to the point Chip wondered how his lips were staying on his face. "Can I get another lesson?"

"After I take care of this guy." Ushio guided Chip over to the car that had just pulled up. The burglar planted his feet for a moment and turned back to look at Martha.

"How'd you do it?" He had to know. _How_had she called Security when he was right there during her one phone call and when he hadn't been, he'd had Takuya?

Looks were exchanged among them all, then Martha laughed. "I raised Crow, Jack, and Yuusei. They know when I need a little help."

That was the only answer it appeared he would get. Chip let himself be put into the car and leaned back, his eyes closed. At least in jail, he wouldn't have to worry about scrubbing the floors or cleaning a bathroom.

* * *

><p>By the time Chip finished his story, a dozen or so felons of every stripe had gathered around to listen. Some of them bore markers, some of them were obviously more recent additions to the jail. But one and all, they stared at him as he came to the end.<p>

"You tried to take Martha and the kids hostage?" The one who had spoken to him first cracked his knuckles. Chip shrugged, wondering in the back of his mind where all of them had come from.

"Yeah. Like I said, a house with an old woman and some kids. I figured it was the best place to hole up for a while. How was I supposed to know about her _connections?_" Connections that not only touched on Security but three of the best duelists in the entire damned city? She should have put out signs!

A breath later he realized that perhaps he should have paid more attention to the way they were staring at him as well. One beefy hand closed around his throat. "Martha helped my sister have her kid." The burly inmate growled, yanking Chip closer and staring him in the eyes.

"She patched me up after I got shocked too much in a duel." That came from another one of the inmates.

"She taught me how to grow a vegetable garden. That kept me and my kid fed for two years!"

"Martha sewed all my clothes until I could learn how to do it for myself!"

"She's taking care of _my_kid until I get out of here!"

Chip lost track of everything after that. Except for the fact that if he ever got out of jail, he was going to move to another country.

One far away from Martha and everyone she could possibly know.

**The End**


End file.
